This morning I woke up thinking...
Today, we have one of those consultation appointments that basically informs us what some dental work for one of our children is going to cost over the multiple stages. Our van may finally be on its last leg.
Instead of thanking the Lord for his never-ending provision, I started giving into worry. Worrying about things and situations that haven't even happened yet or I can do anything about TODAY. Praying out of worry...
It struck me that I was trying to be a spiritual hoarder! I was worrying about God providing for these situations that we haven't even had to deal with yet. I wanted His blessings/provisions in advance, so I can put it in my little spiritual bank account. So, I can pack it away all nice and neat for just the right time. Instead of trusting and exercising my faith, I start to sound like Veruca Salt--"Don't care how, I want it now!" Then, I'll be happy! But will I really? I'll probably just find something else to worry about.
The most powerful experience I ever had with God's provision came during the greatest time of loss in the life of our family. When my brother, Terry, passed away, JP and I signed our names to the over $9000 funeral bill with NO IDEA how we were going to come up with that money. After being awake for over 36 hours straight, I remember a conversation we had before collapsing. I'm sitting on the side of mom's bed and JP turns to me and says, "Honey, you realize that we just signed our names to $9000 and we have no money!" I replied in exasperation, "Yes, but there is nothing I can do....God's going to have to do it! I'm going to sleep!"
The next day, a friend of the family asked if we wanted her to call his employer and inquire about life insurance. We told her, "Sure, go ahead!" One of the bosses told her that he never turned in the paperwork. Sigh... But he wanted to call his brother and he would get in touch with us. Within a short period of time, he returned her call and said, "Have them send the bill to us!" What?!? God moved when I was powerless to do so! God moved in such a way that almost 20 years later, I can still recognize it was only through Him and give Him praise for it!
God doesn't always provide our financial needs in such a dramatic way. BUT He does promise to give us just what we need when we need it! No amount of worry will change that! Sometimes He has different ideas about what we need vs. what we want. Sometimes making us wait fulfills a bigger purpose than we know. Sometimes we have to learn bigger lessons about faith and trust.
Do we pray expecting God to supply all our needs in advance...like a spiritual bank account that we can draw upon when WE decide we need it? Or do we pray His will be done and trust Him to provide according to HIS wisdom and understanding? Do we trust HIM no matter what the future holds for us?
Hoarding and worry can go hand in hand. I don't want to be a spiritual hoarder. Trying to stock up on God's blessings, instead of enjoying His daily provisions. Letting worry, instead of praise, spur my prayers.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own."