Thursday, April 7, 2016

This mother's heart

Wasn't it just last week that I said, "No, we don't do spring formals (proms).  That's not our thing."? Then, one question and one answer later we are looking for a dress.  

Wasn't it just last week that I was washing a little boy's face that is now showing definite signs of manhood?

Wasn't it just last week that I was holding my youngest while he cut in his baby teeth that have now fallen out leaving that gap that says I'm no longer a baby anymore?

This week has been filled with  lots of things for this momma's heart to hold.  

My daughter was asked to go to the spring formal with a friend and their group of friends.  We discussed it together and left the decision up to her.  She thought and prayed; then decided she wanted to go.  I was cool with that until I started thinking that this is the beginning.  The beginning of her spreading her wings to fly away someday.  Really, it's just an event and not really that big of a deal.  But to this mother's heart--this moment in time, it feels like so much more.

Today was the last checkup I'll take my son to.  I'm handing that responsibility over to his dad.  He's a young man now and needs that privacy.  So many checkups over the years and now my part is over.  Officially, taller than me and growing facial hair.  His booming voice sometimes makes me think his dad is home, but it's just him.  My second baby that's not a baby anymore.  And this mother's heart is on the verge of tears. 

My youngest with his permanent teeth coming in and that big gap in the front.  He's growing up, too.  This mother's heart thinks too much about how he'll only be in 4th grade when his sister graduates.  In 5th, one year later when it happens again with his brother.  

I know all mom's feel this way at times.  Things creep up on us.  We overthink and dwell on the sadness of change, instead of the joy of growth.   I don't live in this melancholy for long, but just some days it piles up in this mother's heart.  

But God always sends just the perfect words for this mother's heart at just the right time...

"May the words of my mouth and meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and Redeemer."  Psalm 19:14

"Oh God, You will keep us in perfect peace because our mind is steadfastly on you, we trust in You.  Oh Lord, we trust in You forever, You are our Lord, our Rock eternal.  We thank you in the name of our Savior, Jesus."  

I'll focus the meditation of my heart on His promises and trust Him to guide us and these ones He has entrusted into our care.  Then, this mother's heart can be at peace with the joy of growth.  


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